Reason of all the tug of war inside us is the avoidance of truth at some stage. There is something inside us which we do not wish should be there and want to remove it, causing disagreement between our actions and thoughts.
For example, we could be fearful to face large gatherings and part of our job demands us to do the same on a regular basis. Without our knowing we have developed this subconscious blaming of ourselves everytime we go to face the same public. Thoughts like [why I can’t do it] or [I always fail at it] or [I am a failure since my birth] could be frequent inside our part of brains limiting our ability to completely focus on the situation at hand.
Not only does this preoccupation hamper our ability to focus but also it reduces our brain’s bandwidth of reasoning which could have been utilized to produce the best ever work which we are capable of. The more this denial of our actuality, the more our brain is preoccupied with non value added thoughts.
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These thoughts are repetitive in nature and do absolutely nothing to improve the situation itself. If we could make a record, we will see that every time there is bad mood the same thoughts are occupying our brain but in the different format. Sometimes it could be the negative thoughts about our ability, other times it could be negativity about negativity. It is just the vicious cycle of patterns which is not easily understood. Because the organ (brain) responsible for understanding is itself creating these thoughts.
Oftentimes we become so addicted to this negative self-blaming that we even start to enjoy it and desire this to happen. It’s so weird that we ourselves do not wish us to be happy and positive all the time. There is no cause and effect to understand why this happens, but on the individual level this could be well felt and understood. One explanation could be this that our brain has developed to keep us safe and not happy. And when we are not doing anything, the brain thinks we are very safe because there is no uncertainty of the events which could happen when we try something.
But if we see, this no action strategy is never a good option when we are no longer threatened by the natural dangers like being eaten by predators, drowning in floods, starving in feminine, being eaten by snakes or some natural disasters. In the modern world we are identified by the work we do and the value we add to the society as a whole, therefore no action is actually a danger. Problem is our brain does not think in these terms and prioritizes no action to feel safe.
As we have understood, the cause of all this is the perceived tug of war between our actual and desired situation. Therefore it is wise to tackle this to improve self acceptance on the mind level. Here are few strategies which one can implement:-
1. Know that no one is perfect
Everybody has their share of negative and positive traits and no one is made perfect. Even the most successful people which we could imagine have their own flaws and drawbacks. It’s absolutely OK to have drawbacks and nobody deserves punishment for that. Accept those flaws and if they are hampering your growth, try to eliminate or minimize the negative effect by making some adjustment.
2. Focus on positive traits
Most successful people in this world focus on their positive traits. They develop those aspects so much that their negative sides are no longer visible to the public. We should also focus on the positive side of our personality and pay as little attention as possible to the negative ones. For example one could be very bad at making connections with people but at the same time could be very hardworking alone. That person should focus on his capability to work with unwavering focus to account for the drawbacks.
3. Don’t limit yourself in your own mind
No one could know the capability of one self. We can improve all the time and become so much better that in the end we surprise ourselves. Instead we must focus on the process of achieving our required state and do not pay too much attention to results itself. To achieve anything a set of processes is designed. Those who can follow that process will ultimately reach that target who do not will not.
4. Understand yourself
We all have developed a specific type of mechanism inside us based on the experiences we had in life and Gene’s we carry from our parents. No two people react to a situation in the same manner. Therefore it is necessary to understand that reaction mechanism and fine tune it in a positive way.
5. Make peace with yourself
If we keep blaming and cursing ourselves, we only reinforce those negative beliefs. Accept yourself with all the faults and later try to improve on that if required. Whatever you bring to this world no one else could do it. Just remember you are as good as someone else out there. Just need to believe in your capabilities and work on further improving them. Whatever you are today may be a dream of thousands of people out there.
Make peace with yourself quotes
In the time of emergency do we understand that whatever is the fate we must accept it.
Unknown
Is not it a crime to punish overselves with the negative thoughts for the actions which we took in that negative state.
Unknown
Be conscious enough to think about the thoughts we are having when we are not focused.
Be in peace with yourself first before wishing the same with outside.
Becoming peaceful with oneself must be the first and only target to accomplish.
Hmm nice post bro.
Thanks