माता पिता की 6 गलतियां

बच्चों की परवरिश में माता पिता क्या गलतियों करते हैं

बच्चों की emotions का ध्यान रखना क्यों जरूरी है
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बचपन मे सबसे पहले हमारा Amygdala (भावनात्मक दिमाग) सबसे पहले विकसित होता है। उस समय हमारा Neocortex (सोचने वाला दिमाग) और हिपोकम्पस (याद रखने वाला दिमाग) विकसित नहीं होते हैं। उस समय यदि बच्चों के दिमाग पर अच्छी तरह से ध्यान न दिया जाए तो, अपनी समझने की अयोग्यता के कारण बच्चे बड़े होकर इमोशनल रूप से कमजोर हो सकते हैं। इसलिए बच्चे का ध्यान रखने वाले इंसान चाहे माँ हो या पिता, उनको इस बात का ध्यान रखना चाहिए कि बच्चों को भावनात्मक तौर पर ज्यादा complicated अवस्था मे न डालकर, उनको खुद विकसित होने का अवसर देना चाहिये।

माता पिता की इच्छा

हर माता पिता चाहता है कि उनका बच्चा बड़ा होकर एक कामयाब और खुशहाल इंसान बने। इसके लिए वो अपने बच्चों को हर सुख सुविधा देने की कोशिश करते हैं, कई अवसरों पर तो अपनी योग्यता से बढकर काम करते हैं। इसका ताजातरीन उदाहरण यह है, जब हिमाचल प्रदेश में एक पिता ने बच्चों की खातिर Smartphone खरीदने के लिए, अपनी आय के साधन गाय को बेच दिया। ऐसे उदाहरण इस दुनिया मे बहुत मिल जाएंगे।

माता पिता की 6 गलतियां जो बच्चों में कम भावनात्मक बुद्धि के लिए ज़िम्मेदार हैं

हालांकि बच्चों को सुख सुविधा देने के चक्र में माँ बाप ऐसी गलतियां करते हैं, जो आगे चलकर बच्चों के विकास में बहुत बड़ी बाधक बन सकती हैं।

  1. बच्चों की हर जिम्मेदारी खुद लेना

एक माँ बाप होने के नाते यह कर्तव्य है कि उनकी जरूरतों का ध्यान रखा जाए। लेकिन हर छोटी चीज के लिए खुद को जिम्मेदार नहीं मानना चाहिए। जैसे स्कूल में जाने से पहले बच्चे को उठाना, खुद के हाथ से ब्रश करना, बाल सवारना आदि। ये सब काम ऐसे हैं, जो बच्चे को खुद करने चाहिए, जिससे उसको अपनी जिम्मेदारी का अहसास हो और आगे चलकर उसको दूसरों पर निर्भर न रहना पड़े।

  1. अपनी जरूरतें बच्चों पर थोपना

बच्चों से सिर्फ अपनी जरूरत और सोच के हिसाब से सवाल नहीं करने चाहिए।

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यह दिक्कत बहुत संवेदनशील है, और इसको handle करना भी बहुत मुश्किल है। जरूरतों और जिम्मेदारी के बीच मे ज्यादा अंतर नही होता है। समाज के अच्छे बुरे की सिख देना बहुत जरूरी है, पर खुद की जरूरतों के हिसाब से बच्चों को ढालना बहुत गलत होता है। हर इंसान इस दुनिया मे अलग व्यक्तित्व और जरूरत लेकर पैदा होता है, आपका बच्चा भी एक अलग इंसान है।

  • अपनी पसंद का खाना खाने के लिए बच्चों पर दबाव डालना
  • अपनी पसंद की आदतें अपनाने के लिए बच्चों को मजबूर करना, जैसे ये TV शो देखो, ये Music सुनो, या इस जगह घूमने जाओ। इन सब अवसरों पर बच्चे की पसंद को भी महत्व देना चाहिये, जिससे बच्चों के मन में अपनी जरूरतों को लेकर एक सकारात्मक भावना उत्पन्न हो सके।
  1. लिमिट से ज्यादा गुस्सा करना या प्यार करना

बच्चों को उनकी गलती का अहसास कराना तथा उनको प्यार से पालना माँ बाप का कर्तव्य होता है। हालाँकि बहुत बार हम जरूरत से ज्यादा प्यार और गुस्सा करते हैं, जो बच्चे की भावनाओं पर गलत असर डालता है। हमारी इस प्रतिक्रिया को सुधारने के लिए हमें खुद की भावनाओं को नियंत्रित करना सिखना होगा।

बिना बात गुस्सा करने से बच्चे खुद के लिये खड़ा होना छोड़ देते हैं।

  1. बच्चों की आदतों पर ध्यान न देना

आधुनिक समय की भाग दौड़ में माता पिता इतना उलझ जाते हैं कि उनको अपने बच्चे की अच्छी बुरी आदतों का ख्याल ही नही रहता। वो बस सुख सुविधाओं और पैसे को ही बच्चों की आधारभूत जरूरत समझ लेते हैं। लेकिन बच्चों को पैसे की नही  बल्कि भावनात्मक तौर सहारे और दिशा निर्देश की जरूरत होती है।

  1. बच्चों की बातों को अनदेखा करना

अपने बच्चों को बेहतर जिंदगी देने की जद्दोजहद में बहुत सारे माँ बाप, खुद की सोची गयी बातों को ही बेहतर और सुरक्षित मानते हैं। जबकि माँ बाप भी भावनाओं के शिकार होते हैं और कई अवसरों पर सही फैसले नहीं ले सकते। इसलिये कुछ भी फैसला करने से पहले बच्चों की सुननी चाहिए और उसके हिसाब से आने फैसले में परिवर्तन करना चाहिए। जिससे बच्चे को खुद पर विश्वास हो और वह अपनी बात कहने से घबराए नहीं।

अपने व्यस्त समय से बच्चों के लिये कुछ समय निकालना बहुत जरूरी है।

  1. जाने अनजाने में बच्चों को नीचा दिखाना

माँ बाप को यह समझ लेना बहुत जरूरी है कि बचपन मे बच्चे का व्यवहार उनकी ही देन होता है। इसलिए अपने बच्चों को हर गलती पर कोसने ओर दुत्कारने की बजाए, अपने आस पास के वातावरण और अपने खुद के व्यवहार में परिवर्तन करने के विकल्प ढूंढ़ने चाहिए। हर बच्चा इस दुनिया मे अलग कौशल लेकर पैदा होता है, इसलिए उसके पास ना होने वाले स्किल पर दुत्कारने की बजाए, उसके पास मौजूद स्किल को निखारने की कोशिश करनी चाहिए।

बच्चों की भावनाओं और उनकी सोच को महत्व देना बहुत जरूरी है।

बच्चों की अच्छी परवरिश कैसे करें

जैसा कि ऊपर बताया जा चुका है, बच्चों में 5 साल तक कि उम्र तक भावनाओं की समझ लगभग ना के बराबर होती है। इसलिए यह सिर्फ माँ बाप का कर्तव्य है कि अपने बच्चे को उचित तरीके से treat करें। व्यर्थ की दुत्कार और त्याग बच्चों को बड़े होने पर भावनात्मक रूप से कमजोर बना सकती है। नीचे दिए कुछ नियम हैं, जिनको ध्यान में रखकर माँ बाप अपने बच्चों को सही रास्ता दिखा सकते हैं:

  • बच्चों की गलतियों को बातों से नही उदाहरण से ठीक करने की कोशिश करें। यदि आप बच्चे से मोबाइल की लत छुड़वाना चाहते हैं तो उसके सामने अपना मोबाइल भी इस्तेमाल ना करें।
  • जिस काम के हमें मनपसन्द परिणाम मिलते हैं, वह काम हम दोबारा भी करते हैं, चाहे वह बुरा ही क्यों ना हो। इसलिए बुरे कामों के लिए बच्चों को उचित सज़ा जरूर दें, जिससे वो वह काम दोबारा ना करें।
  • सज़ा के तौर पर आप बच्चे से कुछ देर के लिए बात करना बंद कर सकते हैं। क्योंकि बच्चों को सबसे ज्यादा डर आपके दूर जाने का होता है, इसलिए ध्यान रहे कि इस सज़ा का इस्तेमाल जरूरत से ज्यादा नहीं करना चाहिये।
  • बच्चों की भावनाओं और बातों की कद्र करें। ऐसा करने से आपन अपने बच्चों में आत्म विश्वास की भावना जागृत करते हैं, जो बड़े होने पर बच्चों के लिए बहुत बड़ी ताकत बन सकती है।
  • छोटे छोटे कामों में बच्चों की मदद न करें। बल्कि बड़े ध्यान से बच्चों को विकसित करना सीखने दें। अपनी समस्याओं का समाधान खुद ढूंढ़ने दें। क्योंकि बड़े होने पर हमेशा आप उनकी मदद करने नहीं जा पाएंगे।
  • बच्चों की हमेशा बेहतर करने के लिए प्रेरित करते रहना चाहिए। बेसक आपका बच्चा आपकी हर उम्मीद पर खरा नही उतर सकता। क्योंकि उसका जन्म आपकी नहीं बल्कि उसकी खुद की उम्मीद पर खरा उतरने के लिए हुआ है। उसको अपनी जिंदगी खुद चुनने दें और थोड़े बहुत दिशा निर्देशों के साथ उसको आगे बढ़ने के लिए प्रेरित करें।
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निष्कर्ष

बच्चों में 5 साल तक कि उम्र तक सिर्फ भावनाऐं पैदा करने वाला दिमाग हावी रहता है। सोचने वाले और याद करने वाले दिमाग का विकास अपेक्षाकृत धीमी गति से होता है। परिणामस्वरूप बच्चे भावनाओं को गलत तरीके से प्रयोग करना जल्दी सिख जाते हैं। इसलिए माँ बाप को बचपन मे बहुत सावधानी के साथ बच्चों के साथ व्यवहार करने की जरूरत होती है। सबसे जरूरी चीज है माँ बाप को खुद की भावनाओं पर नियंत्रण रखना चाहिए और बच्चों को सावधानी के साथ treat करना चाहिए।

सवाल जवाब

बच्चों को आज्ञाकारी बनाने के उपाय क्या हैं

बच्चों का भावनात्मक दिमाग उनके बौद्धिक दिमाग से पहले विकसित होता है। इसलिए वो देखी गयी और महसूस की गई घटनाओं से जल्दी सीखते हैं। फलस्वरूप जैसा आप अपने बच्चे को बनाना चाहते हो, उसे वैसा ही वातावरण दें।

बच्चे बात नहीं मानते तो क्या करें

सबसे पहले बच्चों की बातों और उनकी इच्छाओं की कद्र करना सीखें। उसके बाद जो भी आप उनसे करवाना चाहते हो, उसे बातों से नहीं उदाहरण से समझाएं। बच्चे का दिमाग विकसित न होने के कारण वह देखी गयी और महसूस की गई घटनाओं को जल्दी सीखता है।

बच्चे का गुस्सा शांत करने के टोटके बताएं

गुस्से का सबसे मुख्य कारण बच्चे की अधूरी इच्छाओं का पूरा न होना है। अतः सबसे पहले उसकी जरूरत को पूरा करने की कोशिश करें, अगर कर सकते हैं तो। उसके बाद अगर इच्छाएं गलत हैं, तो सबसे पहले उदाहरण के साथ समझाकर और बाद में उचित सज़ा से बच्चे के व्यवहार को परिवर्तित करने की कोशिश करें। जिससे उसको गुस्सा कम से कम आये।

बच्चों को अनुशासन कैसे सिखाएं

जैसा व्यवहार आप बच्चों से चाहते हैं, वैसा ही आपको उनके साथ करना पडेगा। अगर आप अनुशाषित बच्चा चाहते हैं, तो अपने घर और बाहर का वातावरण उसी हिसाब से बनाने की कोशिश करें।

गलतियां करने पर बच्चों के लिए उचित सजाएं क्या हो सकती हैं

उनको मनपसन्द खाना न देना, वीडियो गेम का प्रयोग न करने देना, कुछ देर के लिये बात न करना, मनपसंद TV शो न देखने देना और ऐसे काम जो बच्चों को पसंद हैं, कुछ देर या दिनों के लिए प्रतिबंधित कर देना। ये सब सज़ायें हैं जो बच्चों की बुरी आदतें सुधारने के प्रयाप्त होती हैं।

बच्चों की habits कैसे बदलें

बड़े हों या बच्चे आदत बनने का एक 4 स्तर का चक्र होता है। ये हैं संकेत, लालसा, प्रतिक्रिया और इनाम। इन चारों स्तर का प्रयोग कोई भी अच्छी आदत बनाने या बुरी आदत छोड़ने के लिए किया जाता है।

Updated: February 3, 2021 at 3:34 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Comments

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